10 Rules Of Indian Film

10 Rules Of Indian Cinema

1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different
sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new
leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be
pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is
possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).

2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the
excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to
Switzerland before the end of the movie.

3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for
at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said
by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be
sustained.

5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the
second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30
minutes, and commit suicide.

6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a
bullock-cart, or on foot.

7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero
is required to die, as in rule 2).

8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles,
which will be smashed to pieces.

9. Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order
to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.

10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed by the
villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying
"Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23.
Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick)
unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.

__________________

GIRLS THINKING (How to Blame Guys !!!)

The Other Side...so TRUE!!!

Scene 1
He was looking at her. She was beautiful. She saw him. He saw somewhere else.
"Oh God! That guy doesn't even know how to stare. God only knows if he will ever look into his wife's eye"
the other side...
He was looking at her. She was beautiful. She saw him. He continued to stare and she turned away.
"Oh God! That b****d doesn't even have manners. God only knows how he looks at his mom and sis"

Scene 2
They were a couple. They were holding hands. They were alone in the lift. Their eyes met. He was sweating. He mustered courage and kissed her lovingly on the forehead.
"That guys is too unromantic yaar"
the other side...
They were a couple. They were holding hands. They were alone in the lift. Their eyes met. He was sweating. He mustered courage and kissed her fiercly on the lips.
"That guys wants only *** from me"

Scene 3
He loved her. They used to meet often. One day the guy said "I LIKE YOU".
"He is disgusting. Guys should have guts yaar. He should have said directly that he loves me. What he expects me to propose him or what?"
the other side...
He loved her. They used to meet often. One day the guy said "I LOVE YOU".
"He is too cheap yaar. He goes on proposing every girl he meets"

Scene 4
They were walking. She in front of him and chatting with each other. Her friend came and told her that her clothes are torn in the back.
"Thank god you told me. That guys should have told me. I would not have minded. It would have been embarassing if public had seen"

the other side...
They were walking. She in front of him and chatting with each other. Her friend came and he noticed and told her that her clothes are torn in the back.
"You guys are disgusting. Your eyes keep prying to see where a girls dress is torn so that your eyes can feast on them. Get lost".

Scene 5
They were going for a movie. He was taking her on his bike. He was dressed in shabby clothes.
"That guy is tasteless yaar. He doesn't even know he has to dress well when taking a girl out"

the other side...
They were going for a movie. He was taking her on his bike. He was dressed in tightfitting clothes showing his well cut features.
"That guy is too much yaar. He is trying to impress me. What does he think of himself? Salman Khan?"

Scene 6
He was staying alone. It was raining and they were completely soaked. They were near his house. It was late. He stopped at a busstand and told that they will stay till it stopped raining and then he will drop her back.
"He knows me for a month. Did he think I will rob his house if I come in. I was shivering. It would atleast have been a bit warmer there than the busstand. When will these guys start thinking about how to treat a lady".

the other side...
He was staying alone. It was raining and they were completely soaked. They were near his house. It was late. He called her to his house and asked her to stay till it stopped raining and then he will drop her back.
"He knows me only for a month. He is calling me to his house, that too knowing that there is no one, when I am wet. I can't trust him not to take advantage of the situation. I somehow managed to say no yaar. He was insisting, but I put him off".

Scene 7
They were going on his bike. He was riding slow.
"He is a mama's boy. Doesn't know how to ride with a girl. Whats the use of having a CBZ to go like that"

the other side...
They were going on his bike. He was riding fast. He never applied tight brakes.
"He is a pervert yaar. He was driving like an aeroplane and applying sudden brakes unnecessarily. I somehow held the backrod tight and disappointed him. You shud have seen his face when he left me. See how good I am in dealing with guys"