HAPPINESS FORMULA

An interesting Article that i found in BBC News Programme

Psychologists have now come up with a formula for happiness.

Pleasure + engagement + meaning = happiness.

We all know what brings us pleasure. But the trouble is all too often it is fleeting and it just does not last.

A new school of psychology, called positive psychology, suggests that we need two other vital ingredients if we want to achieve more lasting happiness.

First, they suggest we need to be really engaged and engrossed in what we do. In the jargon it is called "flow".

We have all experienced it. It is that feeling we get when we just do not even bother to look at the clock because we are so into what we are doing.

Second, positive psychologists suggest we need meaning in our lives.

We can get this from doing an interesting job, or working on a project we really believe in, or by doing something worthwhile.

While we adapt quickly to more money and material possessions, it seems we adapt less quickly, if at all, to meaningful things.

Problems with the formula

However, this simple formula hides a number of important issues.

It turns out you can have too much engagement and it does not necessarily lead to more happiness.

For example, you can become engrossed in work and become a workaholic and less happy.

You can experience flow in gambling but it will not necessarily make you happy.

The formula is not exhaustive or comprehensive.

As psychologist Ilona Boniwell of Oxford Brookes University points out in her article, the formula fails to take account of contentment, something which is highlighted by our opinion poll carried out by GfK NOP.

The danger of relying on any formula is that it may actually make us unhappy, by putting yet more pressure on us to live the perfect life.

And what is more there is another problem that one form of happiness often conflicts with other sources of happiness, and may even make other people unhappy.

So some people argue we should not even contemplate trying to make ourselves happier.

A little extra happiness

Positive psychologists counter this by saying that their suggestions are not miracle cures, and they accept that you cannot turn a grump into a deliriously happy person.

They maintain it is possible to make someone a little happier, as much as 10-15%, if someone works at it.

In his article about positive psychology Professor Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, who has been described as the father of positive psychology, explains some of the exercises you can do to make yourself happier.

Research is now trying to test how well these exercises work.

The exercises include disputation, which involves challenging negative thoughts and analysing whether you need to be as negative, playing to your strengths and counting your blessings for the things that go well in your life.

Scientists clearly do not have all the answers. There is as yet no simple and comprehensive formula for happiness.

However, the new emphasis on human relationships, flow and meaning does offer an interesting insight into what really makes us happy, and challenges us to think whether it might be possible to live happier lives.

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S LIFE...- A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced toselect one candidate.In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India. The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA.My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will beperforming my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains 'Was all this worth it?'

C u afer 4 months

I am signing off ...for Quiet a long period ; I donno wher i will start bloggin again from ... I donno where life is taking me to ....It's a loong journey ....C u all in the sea

10 Rules Of Indian Film

10 Rules Of Indian Cinema

1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different
sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new
leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be
pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is
possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).

2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the
excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to
Switzerland before the end of the movie.

3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for
at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said
by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be
sustained.

5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the
second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30
minutes, and commit suicide.

6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a
bullock-cart, or on foot.

7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero
is required to die, as in rule 2).

8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles,
which will be smashed to pieces.

9. Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order
to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.

10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed by the
villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying
"Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23.
Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick)
unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.

__________________

GIRLS THINKING (How to Blame Guys !!!)

The Other Side...so TRUE!!!

Scene 1
He was looking at her. She was beautiful. She saw him. He saw somewhere else.
"Oh God! That guy doesn't even know how to stare. God only knows if he will ever look into his wife's eye"
the other side...
He was looking at her. She was beautiful. She saw him. He continued to stare and she turned away.
"Oh God! That b****d doesn't even have manners. God only knows how he looks at his mom and sis"

Scene 2
They were a couple. They were holding hands. They were alone in the lift. Their eyes met. He was sweating. He mustered courage and kissed her lovingly on the forehead.
"That guys is too unromantic yaar"
the other side...
They were a couple. They were holding hands. They were alone in the lift. Their eyes met. He was sweating. He mustered courage and kissed her fiercly on the lips.
"That guys wants only *** from me"

Scene 3
He loved her. They used to meet often. One day the guy said "I LIKE YOU".
"He is disgusting. Guys should have guts yaar. He should have said directly that he loves me. What he expects me to propose him or what?"
the other side...
He loved her. They used to meet often. One day the guy said "I LOVE YOU".
"He is too cheap yaar. He goes on proposing every girl he meets"

Scene 4
They were walking. She in front of him and chatting with each other. Her friend came and told her that her clothes are torn in the back.
"Thank god you told me. That guys should have told me. I would not have minded. It would have been embarassing if public had seen"

the other side...
They were walking. She in front of him and chatting with each other. Her friend came and he noticed and told her that her clothes are torn in the back.
"You guys are disgusting. Your eyes keep prying to see where a girls dress is torn so that your eyes can feast on them. Get lost".

Scene 5
They were going for a movie. He was taking her on his bike. He was dressed in shabby clothes.
"That guy is tasteless yaar. He doesn't even know he has to dress well when taking a girl out"

the other side...
They were going for a movie. He was taking her on his bike. He was dressed in tightfitting clothes showing his well cut features.
"That guy is too much yaar. He is trying to impress me. What does he think of himself? Salman Khan?"

Scene 6
He was staying alone. It was raining and they were completely soaked. They were near his house. It was late. He stopped at a busstand and told that they will stay till it stopped raining and then he will drop her back.
"He knows me for a month. Did he think I will rob his house if I come in. I was shivering. It would atleast have been a bit warmer there than the busstand. When will these guys start thinking about how to treat a lady".

the other side...
He was staying alone. It was raining and they were completely soaked. They were near his house. It was late. He called her to his house and asked her to stay till it stopped raining and then he will drop her back.
"He knows me only for a month. He is calling me to his house, that too knowing that there is no one, when I am wet. I can't trust him not to take advantage of the situation. I somehow managed to say no yaar. He was insisting, but I put him off".

Scene 7
They were going on his bike. He was riding slow.
"He is a mama's boy. Doesn't know how to ride with a girl. Whats the use of having a CBZ to go like that"

the other side...
They were going on his bike. He was riding fast. He never applied tight brakes.
"He is a pervert yaar. He was driving like an aeroplane and applying sudden brakes unnecessarily. I somehow held the backrod tight and disappointed him. You shud have seen his face when he left me. See how good I am in dealing with guys"

It's for you to read

It's for you to read

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special - Don't ever forget it!

Got tagged -"I Hate Tag"

I got tagged by kartoos sooo , I am also a Blogger now ! “The I hate tag”... My task is to list out 10 things that I hate most.

1. I hate to die(t).
2. I hate leaving my bed after a sleeeeeep.(especially before 10am )
3. I hate to do exercise. (My gym instructor is in good shape helping me do my work out).
4. I hate to stop eating junk food. (Biriyani’s n all other stuff’s)
5. I hate drunkards. (Not my type of being Merry!)
6. I hate failing in exams. ( who doesn’t )
7. I hate studying completely before exams. ( I leave the least probable topics which will surely pop-up in the essay part of QP later)
8. I hate all my ex-crushes, because they didn’t notice me. (But now I am thankful they didn’t).
9. I hate Mr. X for no particular reason (don’t ask me who it is).
10. I hate to get TAGGED!!!... (Do you know that , I could have slept all this time without working on this tag ! J)

Now it’s my chance to tag someone. I am tagging auster & aravind. The task is to list out 8 points how they would like their “Perfect day in life” to be!